A Likely Conversation

Rrrrrrrrring.......Rrrrrrrrring.......
"Hello, the Rev. Wright residence."
"Hi Maria, is the Reverend there this morning? This is Barack calling."
"Si, one moment sir. I am dusting in the gallery this morning and he is in the library. It is very far to that side of the manor. I will go get him for you. Give me some moments, please."
"Gracias, Maria!"
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"Hey Barry! What up?"
"No, forget the Barry thing Jerry. I'm sticking with Barack."
"Oh, OK. I just thought Barry would have been good politics. Man, does that sound NASCAR or what? Besides, it rhymes with Jerry!"
"Yeah, I know. But I think that would have been a bit too much at this point; you know, Barry and Jerry? In fact, that's sort of why I'm calling this morning. I think we need to start putting some separation between us."
"What are you saying, man?"
"Well, I guess I'd put it this way; your brilliance is starting to out-shine me!
"Say no more B.O.! I understand. You want me to keep the Truth on the down-low for awhile. At least 'till you get in. Is that it?
"No no! Like you say, I'm the politician here. I can make up crap as I go. No, you need to keep stoking the fire with the people. I would never ask you to compromise on the struggle!" But I need to distance myself, if you get my meaning. Might have to say some things that will be hurtful to you."
"Like how bad?"
"Well, to start, I need to blast you for some of that stuff you said to Milktoast Moyers."
"Oh yeah (laughing)....man did he give me some big 'ol softballs to hit, or what?! You'd think I paid him or something!"
"Did you, Jerry?"
"Hell no boy! He's just another one of those lib journalists that are like putty. 'Specially when I use my quiet voice! I just love workin' those guys"
"Well, and then the press club stuff."
"Ditto, baby."
"And then the NAACP thing in Detroit."
"Oh, was I rollin' there. They were pre-stoked, 'cause that Mayor's got things really stirred. Poor guy's a victim!"
"But aren't his troubles sort of like the Clinton stuff? You really slam Willy"
"Nope. Totally different."
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
"OK. Well anyway, so I'm going to be making some press statements today about my disgust with your recent comments, and that you do not speak for me or for the majority of black Churches."
"Ain't you layin' it on kinda thick with that stuff?"
"Nah. The Dems, the Press; they trust. I already told them that I spent 20 years in disagreement with you. They bought that!"
"But you didn't disown me at first."
"Yeah, but that just showed my compassion at that point. My open mind. My willingness to listen to other points of view. Now that I've shown an effort, I can throw you under the bus"
"Hey?!!"
"Sorry Jerry. A figure of speech."
"OK; I get it. And I appreciate you lettin' me keep speechin'. I just got in a bunch of notes from Farrakhan. Good, good stuff! Now that I'm retired, I can get out to other parts of the country that need to hear the Truth. I'm thinkin' about gettin' a motorhome... with no seats in the back! (chuckling)
"Well, let's just make sure we're not in the same city at the same time."
"No problem, B.O.. It's not like we won't be in touch!"
"Right, right. Well, as I said, if you are going to keep making speeches, I'll have to continue to respond negatively. Hannity and Rush are not going to let up. Those dogs aren't going to let this bone go! I may have to say some ugly things, and you just need to understand. Let's not lose sight of our real objective!"
"Yeah, you mean the House!"
"No. I'm already a Senator. I mean the White House."
"C'mon B.O., I know that! But once you're in, that's the first thing we change. We aren't callin' it the White House no more!"
"You think we can actually change that?"
" Sounds pretty discriminatory to me!"
"Man, you are right!"
"Hey c'mon! Isn't Wright always right?!" Didn't you learn anything in 20 years?"
"NO!" (laughing hysterically)
"Well, hey, gotta go. Maria's got my bath run. Say hi to Michelle and the boys. Keep pushin' man, and don't worry about offending me B.O.!
"Thanks Jerry. You're one in a million!"
"You mean as in Million-Man March!"
(more hysterical laughter)
"C'mon....that's the crap I'm talking about!" You're killin' me!!" (no laughter) Bye!
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"How is Mister Barack doing?"
"I dunno Maria. He just hung up on me! I worry about that kid. I think he's got some anger management issues!"