Are You Happy Now?

The list is out. Every country in the world has now been surveyed in order to rank their people from happiest to the most depressed on earth.

Which countries rank happiest? Well, number one is Denmark. Somewhat hard to figure, but I'm sure that legalized drugs of almost every kind probably contribute to that happiness quotient. (They're mostly all too buzzed to recall their 72% income tax rate!)

Rounding out the top five are Puerto Rico, Colombia, Iceland and Northern Ireland. I'm stupefied by this list, with the possible exception of Northern Ireland. Colombians are just happy to be alive I think. And I'm sure the Icelanders were surveyed in either June or July, otherwise it would have been dark.

The bottom five are all former Soviet states with the exception of delightful Zimbabwe. OK, there's no argument there!

And so where did the U.S.A. rank? Number 16. Not too bad, but we couldn't hold a candle to those giddy folks in El Salvador!

And how'd you like to be French? Even the Vietnamese are happier! I know the French love their dogs, but apparently they'd be happier if they ate them!

But pity especially, the poor miserable Greeks. The saddest bunch in all of Europe. They have a saying there, "If I were any happier, I'd be in Kyrgyzstan!"

This survey was conducted under guidance from the University of Michigan. That's good enough for me! So where do all these "surprises" come from? Like how glum the Japanese are (43rd), or the relative bliss in Nigeria (29th).

First, I think there's the ignorance of mine, (and most Americans) about what life is really like in most countries. For the most part, we get our only knowledge from TV and books. Even if we travel there, we don't typically leave the tourist paths. So we have real misconceptions.

Second, and probably the biggest factor, is the subjectivity of happiness. By that I mean that certain peoples can be very happy with less. Blessed are they! They're OK with where they are and who they are. They are not constantly striving for more. Maybe that's the Irish factor. Those that do, inevitably fail, and that just leads to more dissatisfaction. That sort of fits with what I know about the Japanese. Kind of makes sense.

America at 16th doesn't surprise me. We whine a lot more than we praise. We really don't know how good we've got it here. A lot of us just like to be miserable. Only 20% are happy with our President. Only 16% are happy with our Congress. Half of us are on a guilt trip about warming up the world. Everything costs too much (never mind that the happiest people in the world pay $7.70 for a gallon of gas!). And now we are all being forced to buy high-def TV's by 2009!

I tell you, if it gets much worse, I'm moving to Malta (12th and climbing!)